R3C

Three Ways to Avoid Saying Hello in the Hallway.

I’m not much of a writer, but here goes….

3. The glance at your watch and check the time move. Almost all of these methods require perfect timing, but this one needs to be spot on to work.  As you approach the person make sure you avoid eye contact by looking at the floor or the bad corporate art on the wall.  Four steps before the normal hello would happen, pull up your sleeve and make a theatrical move to check the time.  If timed correctly you will be off the hello hook.

2.  The check behind you and make sure nobody is following you move. As in number 3, timing is everything.  As before, make sure you avoid eye contact by whatever means necessary and then a few steps before you reach Mr. Friendly glance behind you and make sure that ex-girlfriend isn’t stalking you.  Make a production of it.  If done well, word will get around that you are crazy and nobody will ever say hello again.

1.  The Stare Down move. Having a bad day, use it to your advantage.  Channel all your vitriol for your employer into a focused stare that would curdle milk.  As you assassin (Yes, I stole that from Wilco) down the hallway make sure every single person you cross is aware of how shitty your day is, by staring them down and possibly even growling slightly. Nobody in his or her right mind would consider saying hello to you in this state.  Mission accomplished.